How to Mend a Broken Heart

Broken heart symbol“And Leah conceived, and bare a son, and she called his name Reuben: for she said, Surely the Lord hath looked upon my affliction; now therefore my husband will love me” (Genesis 29:32).

How I empathize with Leah – the desolate, disfavored sister of the exquisite Rachel. At nineteen years old, I, too, fell hopelessly, pathetically in love with the wrong guy. Every close friend discouraged the relationship – not because he was a bad person but because he wasn’t for me. My heart forbade me to listen. I was an “adult,” after all. And, my friends didn’t know Mr. Perfect like I did.

He was tall, handsome, athletic, and whip smart – a college girl’s dream. We even shared similar musical tastes and hailed from the same home state. I laughed at his corny jokes, agonized over his broken relationship with a family member, and sacrificed regular study towards an Ivy League degree to bask in the glow of his “awesomeness.” Then, at the bitter close of a three-year romance, he dumped me for a lovely young co-ed from a college nearby. You may not believe this, but I actually begged him to stay.

SAMAEL KREUTZ & Herzwerk BlogLike Leah, I mistakenly believed that – if I’d truly been worthy of love – the man I adored would have adored me in return. It took some time before I realized that my true value lay in God’s perception of me – not in that of a former boyfriend. Though I had already met the Lord the year before I’d fallen in love, I’d gotten sidetracked. I had ceased to pray, to study the Word of God, or to meditate upon its meaning with the same fervor I’d shown at the time of conversion.

Is your heart broken? Do you feel as if it will never heal? Take heed. God – in his infinite knowledge and understanding of the human condition – sometimes permits us to experience profound loss for our own good. If we never experienced pain, hurt, remorse or regret, we could never appreciate the depths of His sacrifice for us. How can you mend a broken heart? You can’t. But, God can. Don’t wallow in self-loathing and self-deprecation. Take my advice: Do the following…

the word of God(1) If you haven’t turned your life over to Jesus, start now. Repent. Get baptized in His name. Receive his Spirit. (Read Mark 16:15-16 and Acts 2:36-39.)

(2)   If necessary, give yourself permission to experience the so-called five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But make a quick work of it. The longer you vacillate between the first four stages of the aforementioned process, the likelier it becomes that you’ll do something unwise. God can and will get you through this if you allow Him to.

(3)   State openly, “By His stripes I am healed.” Don’t wait until you “start feeling better” to proclaim your deliverance. Demonstrate your faith in God’s ability to facilitate it by declaring its fulfillment now.  (Read Isaiah 53:4-5 and 1 Peter 2:21-25.)

(4)   “Pray without ceasing.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). We sometimes make the mistake of assuming that we only need to pray when things have become too hard. If we prayed when things were going well, perhaps God wouldn’t seem quite so far away when we “needed Him.”

(5) Study and meditate upon the Word of God. (Read Joshua 1:8). Nothing else you’ll read can address heartache, anguish and suffering like the Psalms of King David. Such an imperfect being. Such a yielding, pliable spirit.

Don’t worry: I won’t pry. But, if you’d like to share your thoughts or comments on this topic, please do so below. You never know how your testimony of deliverance will help someone else. (Ensure you’ll receive another “Sybliminal Message” next week by following my blog via email or RSS.) Blessings!

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4 thoughts on “How to Mend a Broken Heart

  1. Thank you for the encouragement. As I read through the steps I realized it applies to any heartache. At 65 I went through a time last summer of healing a deep hurt from my childhood. Finely I allowed God to open the old wounds of a 2 year old little girl. I knew mom loved me but I didn’t feel as loved as my twin or brother that was 2 years older. We all had health issues, mine was the least serious and there were 2 older children. Mom was overwhelmed with needy kids. The Lord took me back and let me see myself crying in my heart, Mommy I’m little too and I deserve your love as much as they do. My deep hurts were hidden because God also gave me my older(9 years) brother James to be my buddy and hero. Until he passed away 5 years ago, he was the one that always let me know, I was OK. But God showed me it was time to heal that little girls broken heart. 1. Surrender to God and allow him to show you the hurts. 2. Time to grieve for the loss of a childhood. 3. Healing time with the Lord. 4. Pray, the heartaches and pain surrendered to my God. 5. Drawing close to God. Recognizing that only he can heal that child inside.
    So many have heartaches hidden inside. It has been through my journals and starting to write to share about the grace of God in my life that made this healing possible and peace with my life that I never had before.
    Again, thank you for the encouragement. I’m a new writer and just learning what is out there for me and how to share.

    1. Thank you, Brenda, for your comment — particularly for being so transparent. I, too, have found that God addresses all kinds of heartache similarly. He is truly awesome and “His ways past finding out.” I hope you’ll visit again. Blessings!

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